14 Days.

Two years ago, my friend and I went to Disneyland together. He had come down to visit for a few days and we made it our main priority to visit the mouse kingdom while he was in town.

We were walking through Adventureland when I grabbed his hand and held it in mine. He looked at me and asked, "What are you doing?" As soon as he said it, I quickly let go of it. I was so embarrassed, I barely said a word to him for the rest of the day.

I always learn from my mistakes; if not the first time then definitely the second. Such mistakes could be as minor as not wearing sunscreen to the beach and in return getting a terrible sunburn, to something emotionally unsettling like reading into someone's actions too much and getting shot down in the most embarrassing way ever. Lately, I've made a couple of little mistakes here and there that have left me saying to myself, "What was I thinking?" Drinking coffee is one of them haha

I woke up this morning to the smell of freshly brewed coffee. It was 10am and I had to force myself out of bed to get my day started, seeing as I had slept for about 11 hours (I desperately needed to catch up on sleep). I made myself scrambled eggs and slathered cream cheese on a bagel before pouring myself a cup of coffee, then sat down in front of the boob tube and watched stage 7 of the Amgen Tour of California. This whole weekend I found myself getting around 4-5 hours of sleep due to the fact my sleep schedule sucks, and getting up before 6am three days in a row was tough. My body hasn't adapted to coffee yet, which sucks because it tastes so good and it totally brings me out of zombie mode. However, the caffeine caught up with me this morning and I felt like my heart was going to jump out of my chest. I sat on the couch thinking to myself, "Holy crap, there's a track and field competition going on inside my chest!" I haven't had that feeling in a few years, back when I had heart palpitations and anxiety attacks. Last thing I needed was to get back on medication that made me feel like shit.

So, lesson learned. I'm limiting my coffee intake. Nemo, I don't know how you can do it.

19 Days.

I smiled a lot today.
I forgot that genuine guys still exist.You know, the ones who don’t have to brag to make themselves look cool.Ones who don’t try too hard, ones that just act themselves around you.Those are the best guys to be around.Because they make you feel comfortable, they make it easier to converse with.It’s been a long time since I’ve made a new guy friend who wasn’t full of complete shit. I like that.

20 Days.

I got my confirmation email today.
I'll be working as a course marshal for the Amgen Tour of California Individual Time Trial in Downtown Los Angeles this weekend.
Everything is coming together.

Life is exciting.

21 Days.

Dear Roadies,


Yes, I ride a fixed gear, with no breaks.
Yes, I wear lycra and jerseys. 
Yes, I ride clipless.
Yes, I am at criterium & road races warming up with your compadres.


GET OVER IT.


No need to be rude by deliberately shoving me out of the way at a race (although the guy who did this had a team mate who witnessed this and apologized a million times, thanks) No need to tell me to get off the bike trail when you can't even hold your line. There is absolutely no reason to not give me the respect you give to other riders. 


I signal when I make turns.
I call out when I'm passing you.
I call out road conditions/debris when you're DRAFTING me (why you would, I have no idea).
I check over my shoulder to make sure you guys aren't going to be on my left or right when I decided to pull off.
I ask if you're ok if I see you sitting on the side of the road.
I wave to you or smile when we cross paths.


Please, seriously, drop the egos and just be courteous. That's all I ask.


Sincerely yours,


Me. 

25 Days.

It's 5:30 am. My mom just came into my room.
"Did you seriously stay up all night?"
"I can't sleep"
"Why can't you sleep?"
"I just can't."


Is it really that big of a deal that I have the worst sleeping pattern ever?
I have work in 12 1/2 hours. I should probably get some sleep before I end up biting someone's head off.
Bedroom door is being locked to make sure there are no disturbances.


Maybe I can actually catch Stage 6 of Giro d'Italia...

26 Days.

1. Me: It's better than being told you're fat (apparently being 140 lbs and 5'8" makes you fat) and that you can't go anywhere in life because you have tattoos and peircings. My family rules.
2. Morgan: The best thing you could do probably is ignore it.
3. Me: The best thing I can do is prove them wrong by becoming a professional cyclist.
4. Morgan: Hells yeah!

27 Days.

Tonight I got off of work and needed some serious bonding with my best friend. We live up the street from each other and sometimes I feel like I never spend time with her even though we go on random fast food trips together. I picked her up from her house, ate at Denny's, then proceeded to Wendy's where I got myself a chocolate frosty. The night couldn't be any better, especially singing a long to Blink 181, doing half ass donuts in the parking lot of her old work, and doing 10 laps around the Dos Lagos round about at 50 mph. Needless to say, my Denny's value slam almost slammed to the concrete after going in so many circles.

A lot of things have been on my mind lately, mainly things that have to do with cycling. Things like how am I going to afford a new bike, what bike should I get... Then thinking into the future as well. What club do I want to join for racing? Which club has a strong women's field? Which club has woman racing in the Cat 4's? Not only am I'm constantly thinking about racing and training, I'm also thinking about this position at Performance bikes I might be getting. I went in on Sunday and talked with the area manager, or whatever he's called. I guess he really liked me because my friend who is trying to hook me up with this job said he came into the store after meeting me and said a lot of positive things. He liked how interested in cycling I was and how eager I was to learn. This put me in such a great mood, despite the fact that I had learned that the store manager "wasn't sure" about me. And I can totally imagine him thinking that too. I came into the store with teal hair, a pink & black plaid flannel, and shoes that had holes in them. He probably thought, "Oh. This chick is trying to get a job so she gets cool points with all her friends who ride fixed gears." 

No. That's hardly the case. 

I really honestly cannot stand people, mainly adults, who judge me before even getting to know me. Yes, I have tattoos and piercings, yes I have.. er... had green hair. Big deal! I know a thing or two about the cycling world, and I am admitting to the fact that I have a whole lot more to learn. And that's the thing: I want to know everything. I want to continuously learn everything there is when it comes to the industry. Don't stand there and judge me because my bike has one gear or because my hair isn't a natural color, because that's unfair. 

I have no one else to impress but myself. 

And as I sat there listening to the employee tell me how the manager felt about me, I thought to myself, "Here I am talking to someone who has been working with the company for almost two years now and she has no idea what a prime lap is, what a soigneur is, or what the Dana Point Grand Prix is." I mean, I don't think I'm above her (because I'm definitely not) but, honestly, you've worked at a well-known shop for two years with a manager who has raced for Jelly Belly and you have no idea what the Dana Point Grand Prix is?!

*palm-to-face*